I’m torn as, one the one hand, I’m a big believer in the power of mindfulness (not least because there is evidence in numerous studies to support its happiness-supporting claims), yet on the other hand it’s become such a buzzword with so much hype, I feel immediately sceptical.
But today, I want to talk about why mindfulness works. Continue reading “Beyond the mindfulness hype”
I was listening to the Happier podcast episode 187 where co-host Elizabeth Craft was talking about going away for the weekend with her family. As a TV writer, she’s super busy with her new show that’s just been picked up, so she was struggling to get away early on Friday to go camping with her husband and son. Instead, they went without her to the campsite on Friday night so she could work late, and she joined them the next day and they all came back together on Sunday. She was remarking how great it was, and by the time she got there it was like she’d been with them the whole weekend. And her son Jack got to ride on the train and get some quality time with his Dad.
I’ve frequently been caught off guard by something that seemed lame or not quite good enough that ended up being perfect for my son.
Sometimes, enough is…well, enough. Continue reading “Enough is enough (in a good way)”
Have you ever been given the idea that you and the other parent of your children need to be consistent with one another as much as possible?
It can feel like becoming a two headed entity, and can often lead to friction when you don’t always agree on how to handle something that comes up in the quagmire that is parenting, like how to handle a behavioural issue or a challenging stage of your child’s development.
Well, I had an eye-opening interview with a parent as part of my research to better understand parents and the highs and lows they face. She said she advises new parents that they don’t have to do everything identically. In their child’s eyes, they are two separate people. The kid can understand that Mum does things one way and Dad does them another way.
She gave the example of a friend who got really upset because her partner had dressed the baby differently to how she does. They apparently had a big fight about it. But when asked why it mattered, the mother paused in her tracks. Did it matter if her husband dressed the baby differently?
Huh. Continue reading “Parenting together and playing to our strengths”
We’ve had to turn on the heat in the early mornings, which are staying darker, longer. Leaves of orange and brown rustle under the empty swings at the park, and when the wind blows through the trees they rustle as only dry leaves about to drop can. It’s official: autumn is here.
There’s something to be said for embracing the season for what it is, not trying to make it what it isn’t. Continue reading “Embracing the seasons”
Dreams. Ambitions. Desires. Self care. Identity.
I’ve been thinking a lot about these things lately.
This focus has been prompted by my imminent return to work, which I’ve been writing about fairly frequently the past few weeks. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about time, routines, and practical ways I can make sure I have time, even if only little pockets of time here and there, but regular time every week, to move forward on my various goals.
There are goals for my writing, both this blog but other projects not ready yet to talk about. There are goals for my coaching practice. Goals for self care habits like regular exercise, eating whole and natural foods, and daily meditation.
I’ve been working with a coach, and as often happens with coaching I had an eye opening experience during my session this week. I was talking about the things I want to do but which I feel guilty about doing, or feel I have to justify taking the time to myself to do them. As I talked, themes came up that as I heard my voice saying these words I wondered, “Is that really me saying that?” Continue reading “What’s stopping me? Oh, it’s me.”
I’ve recently embarked upon a small research project to help me understand parents better.
I want to understand what challenges parents face, what needs they might have.
Why am I doing this, when I’m already pressed for time (like all working parents)? Why add to my already overfull plate of kids, work, volunteering, maintaining the household, writing this blog, and coaching on the side?
Well, there are a few reasons. Continue reading “Understanding Parents”
Want to know how to get where you want to be? Interview your future self and get some ideas for your next steps. Continue reading “Interview your future self”
I’ve recently been feeling a bit rushed and hassled. Getting breakfast ready, I’m thinking about the packed lunch I need to prepare. As I make my son’s lunch I start thinking about getting us all dressed. As we’re getting dressed my mind is already thinking about making sure his school bag is packed next. Continue reading “Not what you do, but how you do it”
This photo is of two postcard-sized paintings I painted and framed recently. They now live over the bookshelf right next to my favourite armchair.
In the past week, I have also completely overhauled my website (with professional-quality photos, which my talented husband shot for me as I had no photos of myself without the kids). I did some research around my coaching business, wrote some content for this blog, mowed the back garden, gathered another bag of stuff to take to the charity shop and a bag of clothing scraps to recycle, and sorted some clothes to/from the loft as my boys change their clothing size. Alongside all of these tasks, I also managed to have time to read for pleasure (George Eliot’s Middlemarch) and for learning (Paul Gilbert’s The Compassionate Mind), go for coffee with my husband, take my son to a park for a playdate after school, and go for a run.
This isn’t a list designed to brag (though reading it back I’m afraid that’s how it comes across…sorry about that). It is to demonstrate the amazing power of small things.
I have learned this simple truth time and time again before forgetting and then rediscovering it. But there’s a reason “Little and often” is one of the mantras I repeat to myself: little things, done every day, make a huge difference. Continue reading “Don’t underestimate the power of small things”
There have been several times when I’ve caught myself telling my five year old something and feeling like a hypocrite. Like when I tell him to calm down and yet I know how much I struggle to contain my emotions at times (a work-in-progress I write about here frequently).
It got me thinking about all of the lessons I (try to) teach my son regularly that I could do with following myself. A bit like the popular Everything I Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten. And the more I thought about it, the more things sprang to mind. Here are a few of my favourites. Continue reading “Do as I say, not as I do”
Happy Parent UK 